Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Perkins the Dragon Slayer

A horde of undead champions and necromancers assault the adventurers! There were six statues in this hallway as well, which the players insisted were some sort of golems... they were not.

An exciting game to say the least.
The players, having received a request of attendance from their former military commander, found themselves traveling across two countries in an effort to reach the massive city of Sessovir, the capital of the Holy Empire of Man; A city often described as "The capital of the world."

During this journey they picked up a new companion: The once famous minstrel Perkins. While his career has waned, Perkins still has the attitude and swagger of a superstar. He has a habit of bossing around not only his bodyguard Corwyn, but the rest of the party as well. He agreed to travel with the party in hopes of finding inspiration for his next series of songs. Some of his former hits include such famous tunes as: The Dragon Slayer; Five Days Ago; Dancing for Silvers and Vicky's Lament.

Perkins is played by my friend and fellow blogger SaintMort, author of Pure Mattitude. He is a hilarious guy with a lot to say. He wrote full songs for his character and performed them at the table! To be honest, I would not consider any of the songs appropriate for a 'general audience'. Nevertheless, here is a heavily censored excerpt of The Dragon Slayer.

There once was a town where a dragon lived...
He ruled the land, and he'd eat the kids!
The town was helpless, no one was spared!
There was murder and famine everywhere!
So I took a trip to that far off land and said:
You can't kill him... BUT I SURE CAN!

I'm the mother ******* dragon slayer!
I'll **** up that dragon's **** night and day or I'll die ****** tryin'!
Mother ****** I ain't lying! Cause I'm the death defyyyyyiinnnnn'...

Now my name is known both far and near
for the dragon hid in his cave with fear
I said: HEY ***** QUIT BEIN' A *****!
Get your *** out here! Let's do this ****!
The dragon sensed fate wasn't on his side
and the little ***** ***** committed suicide!

With Perkins in tow, the players continued their journey, setting up camp one night just inside the borders of a nation called Bour/Orlan. Rising the next morning they found a pudgy old half-deaf man wandering the road. The bumbling man introduced himself as Benedict and was absolutely certain that the players were sent there to provide him escort through the wilderness to a nearby mining camp. He claimed his cousin lived there. Benedict meant to recover his favorite walking stick, which he loaned to his cousin long ago.

The players were confused, but his coin was good so they took the job, all the while wondering how the old man managed on his own in the first place. 

The deaf, pudgy and bumbling character Benedict was modeled after our kitty. The deaf, pudgy and bumbling Benny. 

When they reached the camp they discovered the mine to be closed due to an apparent cave-in. There was also no sign of Benedict's cousin... or did he say brother? Nephew? He couldn't remember. They spoke to the workmaster who pleaded for their help. He confessed that there was some sort of monster attack within the mine and needed help in clearing it out. The cave-in story was a tale to keep the miners at ease.

The players accepted the mission -for more gold of course- and ventured into the mine. Benedict insisted on attending and they allowed it against better judgement.

Working their way down they discovered a surprise! The miners had unknowingly mined directly into a long lost tomb complex and were summarily slaughtered by the restless undead who lived within. The players battled their way through the tombs, trying to keep a watchful eye on the oblivious Benedict while fighting all manner of undead.
About halfway through the dungeon one of the players called it a day. Jubal the Insane (a sorcerer/cleric) had exhausted his spells and was suffering from the effects of level drain. He went back to the camp in order to rest for the night. Benedict did not agree and he urged the party forward.

The rest of the party stayed and although Benedict shouted words of encouragement, things went from bad to worse. Perkins eventually joined Jubal outside the mine when he witnessed his bodyguard's head messily removed from his shoulders by a spirit of denial (a creature of my own invention). The remaining four adventurers pressed on.

A few traps and floating skulls later, the adventurers found the source of the evil. Inside an immense throne room they discovered a seated skeletal figure clutching a short staff in his gnarled fist. Benedict let off a stream of curses and approached the figure, trying to wrest the staff from his dead hands. The figure let off a bust of magical energy and sent the party flying against the walls.

The adventurers did battle with the undead lord the best they could but he siphoned their spells right from the air and numbed them with his freezing fingers. The battle was hard fought, but they came out victorious.

Benedict, who's usefulness can be best described as minimal, retrieved his stick and praised them for a good job. The party for the most part was puzzled. This tomb was well over a thousand years old! How could this bumbling old man loan anything to some ancient undead? They tried to ask him, but he was tired and wanted a drink.

Benedict knocked on a nearby sarcophagus with his walking stick and opened it up, as one would open a door. The adventurers were shocked to find a bustling tavern on the other side! "Well, are you coming?" he asked them.

They followed him through and found themselves within a filthy tavern in one of Sessovir's various slums. They were shocked at their surroundings, shocked again that they couldn't find Benedict anywhere and finally, curious as to what will happen to their two companions who are now hundreds of miles and an entire country away!

Until next time, happy gaming!